Saturday, May 15, 2010

good lord

They were freshmen.


I am currently in boston. At harvard square. At a "party". With undergrads. Who just finished their year. Maybe a SWF sophmore just invaded my personal space and her warm leg in scant sun skirt is touching me rudely.

Elshadey said it was just like wesleyan, but without the weed.

The crowd is rocking cross colors clothes, goodwill sports coats, and sundresses with messy hair. No visible white dreads.

College band is playing last show of the year. SWF is bitter she's not hooking up on last night out. Her happa cute sidekick is clearly hooking up with shaggy headed white boy with jewelery ignoring her to her right. Don't they have a tent party here?

I'm not ready.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

On to the Next One


not but a hot minute ago I was in a place with bears and fish. and, as a general rule, not many people. there were three bus lines. and three busses. two grocery stores. one movie theatre.

and walking up the franklin ave. subway with one lady's big bag pushing on my hip and face-to-butt up the stairs with 7 people within three feet of me it struck me as a year of extremes. it wasn't a fair, festival, line for shopping after thanksgiving. it was just a normal rush hour commute home.

i think there's more people in this neighborhood than in all of my town in alaska.

just looked it up.

clinton hill: 46,000
ketchikan, ak: 7,000

PHAT follow up:

Clearly sandwiches were phat.

D = fat moon

K = fat elvis

Both = no dinner required

Photos were taken. Of ordering. Of eating. Of the small birds that stalked us whilst eating.

Phat ass success.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Were going to get FAT sandwiches in new brunswick. For all you californians who've been living under a rock:

The fat sandwich (noun)- a HUGE sandwich. Hoagie roll. Toppings include any "regular" sandwich PLUS chicken fingers, hot dogs, french fries, etc. Kirstie Alley ate one of these and that's why she so fat (this time).

Well report back on the results and our consequent plans for lipo.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Adios Durham, here comes Chocolate City... kinda

so so so

last night, for good times sake we partied like it was 2004. When livers were practically virgin and you'd drink anything including straight vermouth. And, much like the setting of my 21st year of life, there were hipsters, bohos, and too cool for school chris lake all partying it up whilst the dj spun in a poorly lit red room a la ecclectic. hill and i think we saw this girl. lauren. lauren something. she was duck footed and sporty. a foreshadowing of all the wesleyan to come, to be sure.

we did also unearth a new pickup line: "Apocalypse!"

said with enough conviction, it may inspire girls to talk to you, inquiring whether this is indeed their last chance to... well... people this is a family blog. A special thanks to Jeff for road-testing this one. Sorry you didn't get DJ girl. There are some great photos documenting the attempt however.

happy to say i do not have the 2010 hangover, so plans are still on to migrate north. north to freedom. but instead of an actual owner i'm gaining freedom from pollen. it's pretty thick down here.

literally. we went swimming in a lake. i thought the top was kinda dirty. NO. it was just a sheen of pollen. whoa. i'm bff's with claratin, but it didn't even do the trick.

and while our hosts have been overly accommodating, it is time to move on from our fabulous respite. dc, or alexandria and baltimore to be exact.

more later. this post goes out to RTeezey. you are my muse.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Sadly no Ruby

After a lovely night in St. Augustine with our wonderful new friends Dian and Ana who we met on our travels in Thailand we left this morning due North to the land of Ruby!

We had an excessive lunch at Paula Deen's restaurant Lady & Sons where Danielle sat back to back with what we are pretty sure was one of her sons going somewhat incognito. There was blackberry googling and, while inconclusive, we have convinced ourselves it was. The fried green tomatoes were fantastic and each of our meals was delicious and ridiculous. Just know if you go there that when you order fries that in fact means a slice of potato boiled, breaded and fried....what!?!

After our gluttonous meal we waddled out and about for a bit hoping to run into Ruby, but sadly no Ruby.

We then continued our journey up into South Carolina to Charleston where we have reserved a bed in their hostel here in town. Very cute and I'm currently writing this post from the second floor porch - wireless is wonderful. Resting before possibly attending an open mic event tonight somewhere in town....

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Forgive us

Forgive us for not posting more. We are 11 days in to our 40 day road trip...yup it's that long, and currently in Tamarac, FL. Lots has happened since our last post.

New Orleans: Fantastic! We got in on last Friday night after a stop in Montgomery, AL through some of the heaviest rainstorms either of us had ever seen. Our fun-packed weekend with Hillary and Christie involved multiple visits to Cafe Du Monde for beignets, sight-seeing, Jazz Fest, afternoon drinking of Hurricanes in the French Quarter, a few crushes and some delicious food! (also some less than medium food at Cochon - so disappointing)

Next stop Tallahassee on the way to Orlando: We are both fans of La Quintas because they so rarely steer us wrong - except in Tallahassee. This hotel was where we landed for the night after shopping around the many hotels at that exit, and we thought we could risk it. Medium. There was the creepy other guests, the wrong room keys from the completely dead pan front desk clerk, and the dead pigeon in the middle of the pathway. We quickly locked the door, hopped in our sleepsheets (beds were questionable) and tucked in til the morning.

Orlando: Sort of. This is our first stop using D's vouchers so we were somewhat skeptical upon arrival. We got to the Orlando Welcome Center to check in and received the tickets to Universal Studios and Arabian Nights! This hotel was a few steps better than the La Quinta but had we traveled back in time to the 80s this hotel would have been amazing. The center of the hotel is a giant space the height of the hotel with murals all around, beach scape murals. Also included in this central space, a pizza hut, a recessed seating area with Karaoke nightly, the saddest buffet restaurant ever, and a pool with a "waterfall" and that is in quotes because it was a pipe with holes poked in it. I'm sure there will be some pictures up shortly.

Our full day in Orlando was Universal Studios - Islands of Adventure where we promptly rode all the rollercoasters. Spiderman was the best, Hillary was right. Then we participated in a TV show viewing where we made $15 each - we totally win. Maybe the only people to go to an amusement park and actually make money.

But the day wasn't done yet, not by far. We had tickets to a dinner show - Arabian Nights! This is a show that has a Bedoin girl who is actually an Arabian princess and has been kept safe from the villain by her fathers genie. Then throughout the show the genie proceeded to inform the princess about gypsies, cowboys, indians, unicorns, and torreadors all on horseback! Everything that you are imagining happened and was crazier than you think! Plus dinner! Yup!

Fort Lauderdale: Again, sort of. We are actually in Tamarac, FL outside of Fort Lauderdale a trick of these voucher stays. This hotel is definitely a couple steps up from the Orlando stay and we get every meal comped! It feels like we're back at a dorm and getting three meals a day - love it!

When we got in D was having a shopping craving so we got directions from the front desk and headed for the nearest Ross and Old Navy! We made it to the shopping area but didn't get past the Dot's!!! For those of you who went to school with D you are very aware of Dot's and the excitement that it caused us both to find this store. For those of you who don't know it's like Rainbow at it's very best! We did not make it to Ross or Old Navy and each bought more things to somehow fit in our bags...anyone shocked?

Today we went into the Everglades!! To get there you drive on a highway called Alligator Alley. There was Billie Swamp Safari on the Seminole reservation in the middle of the Everglades. We got the airboat tour and the swamp buggy. Around the camp there were alligators and tortoises and snakes. The airboat tour was great and we saw two alligators probably about 12 feet long each, also raccoons, ostrich, wild boar and cranes. Then we took the swamp buggy which went along an old canoe path that the Seminole used to use to escape the soldiers all around the reserve. K did not conquer her fear of alligators but did go and see them anyway.

On our way back we stopped at an Art & Music festival on the reservation and got amazingly delicious Indian Tacos and watched a traditional dress fashion show. The heat started to overwhelm us so we headed back to our hotel for our free dinner and a swim in the pool!

Now it's time to get back to watching School of Rock and get ready for our drive up to St. Augustine, FL tomorrow to stay with our friends we met in Thailand.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

On the Road Again!

So, despite our lack of posts we are very much not on the beach in Thailand anymore. After a few weeks back at home, where D was busier than when we used to have jobs, we are on the road again!

States visited or crossed through in our first two days: 5

We flew into DC on Tuesday evening and spent some quality time with K's sister before her next adventure. On Wednesday morning we jumped in our fly ride for the next month or so - the sweet sweet Prius - and drove to Durham, North Carolina and spent a lovely night with Hilary. We successfully helped to end her Trivia Night teams winning streak - although we only knocked them down to second place I can't help but feel a little guilty...

This morning we jumped back in the car as Hilary went to the airport - both to the same destination - New Orleans for the Jazz Fest. We passed our goal of Atlanta and made it to Montgomery, AL where yet again La Quinta came through in a clutch!

But the most important stop of our day happened in Spartanburg, SC at The Beacon Drive-In! This place was a Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives restaurant that D found on her crackberry and we ventured off the well traveled Interstate and found. Let us tell you it was worth it! We each had the rib special and they were amazing and the side of onion rings was almost as big as my face...there will be pictures and while we were not able to power through the whole plates we put in a good effort! This place was huge and fantastic and is 6 hours later and we are both still full! I wish we could tell everyone to go there but it's not exactly on the normal route for most people.

Tomorrow: to New Orleans!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Playas at las Playas


this trip

is no joke.

ko samet island: totally awesome, totally half local, totally gay, totally laid back.

we're chillin in an awesome bungalow. we're eating every meal literally on the beach. we're about to commit ourselves to imbibing drinks from a bucket.

this morning wading in the water i was the only person i could see on the ocean side. vendors hawk coconuts, chicken, sarongs, and massages at towelside. we're so digging the natives who have made this great stay possible. ... too bad they kinda laugh when i say thank you.

we feel at home with the bartenders (it's like they can smell the kerry house party on us). every woman here is wearing a bikini without regard to love handles and stomach pouches (clearly my people). and siesta exists.

amen and a good note to leave on.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

C to the ambodia

ah, so much has happened since last post. but, for brevity - and the sake that five Chinese tourists are mean mugging me, i shall be quick.

we finished our time in thailand going to the old capital, ayutthaya, then going to a resort (budgetish) off the rive kwai. the pool was slightly off (a la the former hot tub in our backyard) but the scenery was beautiful.

highlights of thailand:
riding an elephant
being told we were too fat to ride an elephant
seeing lizards all over (!)
learning how to squat pee accurately with minimizing pee ankle syndrome
jumping off a bamboo raft to float down the kwai river
a riverboat dinner cruise at sunset - the diesel and rice whiskey were a one of a kind combo
hooking up with three cool ass chicks from florida, all our older, wiser, fantastic travel buddies
eating a mango sticky rice sundae from dairy queen

then we flew to cambodia with just two of the gems on our tour, barbara and susan - or, as we commonly refer to them: frick and frack.

they're jersey. they're wearing makeup. they hate black kids who dont' wantt to learn and who look at their cell in the symphony. they're asking our guide if he wears shoes when not at work. what's not to love.

well, maybe them 69% of the time. but cambodia is THE BOMB.

do my capitals let you know i'm serious. we heart cambodia. our guide Bros was the best one could possibly ask for. he showed us angkor temples. he showed us the countryside. he showed us the city. he shared about his life.

cambodia highlights:
dumplings so nice - we went there twice
all around the best food of the trip
the five star resort we got to stay at. posh colonial estate beyond your wildest dreams. see here.
walking around the river to pub street to fraternize with collegiate toocoolforschool conquistadors.
50 cent beers
temples over 1000 years old with detail that looks like they were made last year.
palm sugar candy!
fresh cashews
all the coconut D could drink
mango shakes
(eat much?)
spring rolls
the local market fruit stalls (rambutan baby)
replacing cloth of my mommas that i destroyed accidentally as a dumb kid
finding pants that fit!
making plans to come back.

katie just got molested by a japones tourist. it's time to go.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Elephants and rivers, oh my!

Our adventure has taken us to Kanchanaburi which is located very near the site of the Bridge over River Kwai, which we visited yesterday!

This morning consisted of early rising (again, can't seem to sleep past 6am here) and off to ride an elephant and river rafting. The elephant ride was geared totally for the tourists but still really fun. The river rafting was amazing. It was a flat bamboo raft with benches on it but D and K were in the water after only about two minutes on the raft. We floated the whole river it felt amazing!!

K is off to see Hellfire Pass this afternoon with the tour while D fends for herself...

Tomorrow: back to Bangkok airport and off to Cambodia!

9 days still to go, incredible!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Chubbies in Bangkok... I couldn't resist...

it's 110 degrees here today. we're supposed to be going to see famous temples today, but may not be able to because of the protesters. everything, despite one million protesters (poor, rice growers, country folk - those not profiting in bangkok) seems super safe and happy. the protesters are all middle aged and older. it's very interesting times here.

aside from the fact that we tend toward the vaguely narcoleptic and are sleeping through our evenings, it's been a good ride.

we attempted to go to a Mon village north of bangkok. we didn't get there, but we did check out a market where we were the only non-thais. we took the ferry boat to the burbs of bangkok. there we were greeted with bamboo shoots, fresh ginger, frogs that - although gutted- were still moving, hella chicken feet, hella fish, and hella mangoes. It's mango season here don't you know.

Due to our freekishly early bed hours, D woke up at 4:30 and wandered pre-dawn bangkok. i don't know what leonardo decaprio's beef was, because depending on when and where you are, even in bangkok you can still feel like an exclusive outsider. But everyone was pleasant, if not slightly puzzled as to why the chubby non-thai brown girl was wandering the streets when there was nothing but local breakfast to buy.

today post-tour may involve shopping. or maybe another stab at the mon village. or maybe a massage. but definitely staying up past 10:30pm.

unknown foods eaten: 3.5*
unknown foods i'd eat again: 2.5

*.5: i thought i was buying a waffle on a stick... but NO! IT'S A WAFFLE WITH A HOT DOG INSIDE... on a stick

Friday, March 12, 2010

Hedgehogs, Tuk Tuks, and Owl's - Oh My...

so, we have arrived safely in Bangkok. Our hotel is pretty posh and crawling with Europeans and other colonizers like myself. but there's hot water and ac and decent breakfast - so that rocks.

we've managed to ride a tuk tuk, haggle over not getting sucked into jewelery gem scams, gone to the largest flea market in the world (true? i'm not sure. but it was pretty damn big), seen thai b boys (they moved verrrrrrrrry slowly), touched a flying squirrel and hedgehog, saw a tiny owl in a tiny purple cowboy hat, was told i was not allowed to take a photo of a tiny owl with a tiny cowboy hat (most likely attributable to the fact we were in the contraband animals section of the market), and driven on the highway with truck after truck of red shirt protesters which excited us and our cabbie.

all very awesome. and all on four hours of sleep. so i think i'll nap or swim before our hand holding yellow bus-esque tour dinner and boat ride happens later today. thanks for all the energy expended to keep our plane in the air.

number of unknown foods eaten: 3
number of unknown foods we'd eat again: 2
number of coconuts today thus far: 1

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


no no, not us - we're off on leg one of stage three of our world tour. we fly virgin down to LA (perhaps seat flirting with cute jet setters?). our lovely host has agreed to lug our bags whilst we scope frat boys until she's done with "law school." Then off to the land of smiles and racially charged condescension: Thailand on a Tour. 

Fingers crossed that there's several old couples. I'm searching for varicose veins and a hearing impairment. And perhaps a mildly autistic family that is traveling now because their kids go to year round school because "it's better for them." And dear god I hope we get matching visors and the guide has a flag on a pole. 

All kidding aside: this is gonna be a bomb ass trip. 

Monday, January 25, 2010


Our Etsy shop is up and running!! Come check it out.

The link is

Friday, January 22, 2010

Quelf has come to the lower 48

So, we are back in the wonderful bay area - Oakland in particular! In addition to feeling lovely to be back in a city we also know people here!! But don't fear we did bring back some new things with us from Alaska, what you ask? Quelf!!

Quelf, maybe the best board game ever made, has made its way to the lower 48, and it was good! I could attempt to explain it to those of you, that did not experience if first hand because it was a rather large group, but pictures will be much better... pictures!

Friday, January 8, 2010

one half of us hearts sarah palin*

*views expressed in this post only belong to 50% of the traveling duo... or do they...

I've finally sussed out my love for la senora of the north: madam pres... uh, I mean Sarah Palin

people trip and ask why. 

I typically have a long drawn out answer about how I dig people who construct their own boundaries of legitimacy, of how she reminds me of my family, of how she disturbs 'liberal' ideas of merit and rationality, of how she's an entirely accurate reflection of a large segment of this nation, and about how she's not a hoax - she was a democratically elected leader meaning the majority of somewhere that we give a large chunk of decision making power actually wanted her as a leader for real real. 

But the answer is shorter. it came to me at a comedy show watching old white presumably monied ladies hiss at the mention of her name: 

I like her because she makes people angry. particularly white people. particularly rich white people. particularly the bustier sex. 

and while I really TRULY do wish that bridge to nowhere was built (it would have been a route off the island) I can take great pleasure in the fact that most Alaskans I met are of similar mind to the old white ladies in flowy skirts. strange bedfellows indeed. 

welcome home.