Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Undiagnosed

this entire town has an undiagnosed social disorder. up is down. black is white. open is closed. and everyone is cool with that.

i think it may stem from the fact that everyone comes here to be alone. ergo, when in stores, with their children, in bars, etc. there is always a vague haze of ignoring the nearest humans. often they would prefer to be looking at boats and communicating with eagles.

this, like most social disorders, is fine and inconsequential generally. it can be problematic, however, when interacting with people is a necessity (e.g. a job). Clocking in, recording hours, agreeing upon shifts has all proven to be a minefield of misunderstanding - we believe it is probably the fault of the undiagnosed social disorder rampant in this here village. it's probably the fish.

other weirdness examples include:
-weird guy about town seen weekly who speaks to us as though we're cousins in a donald duck voice

-excessive phone calls at 5 am for susan. something about her prescription meds. all from different people. we joked that it could me meth face mc jail coworker from our working days...but no, she doesn't have our number. old lady prescription meds caller gives a last name. IT WAS meth face mc jail!

-um, ju jitsu diet anyone?

-everyone insists we are moving here. all the time. everyone - the bartenders, the old lady at the collectible shop, our old boss. everyone.

-mattress ranch

-creepy guy who watches everyone from his window... at night... without binoculars, just standing in the window frame.

this hamlet's been swell, but home's a callin...

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