D&K: Trippin

good lord

2010-05-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

They were freshmen.

coeds

2010-05-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

I am currently in boston. At harvard square. At a "party". With undergrads. Who just finished their year. Maybe a SWF sophmore just invaded my personal space and her warm leg in scant sun skirt is touching me rudely.

Elshadey said it was just like wesleyan, but without the weed.

The crowd is rocking cross colors clothes, goodwill sports coats, and sundresses with messy hair. No visible white dreads.

College band is playing last show of the year. SWF is bitter she's not hooking up on last night out. Her happa cute sidekick is clearly hooking up with shaggy headed white boy with jewelery ignoring her to her right. Don't they have a tent party here?

I'm not ready.

On to the Next One

2010-05-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

so,

not but a hot minute ago I was in a place with bears and fish. and, as a general rule, not many people. there were three bus lines. and three busses. two grocery stores. one movie theatre.

and walking up the franklin ave. subway with one lady's big bag pushing on my hip and face-to-butt up the stairs with 7 people within three feet of me it struck me as a year of extremes. it wasn't a fair, festival, line for shopping after thanksgiving. it was just a normal rush hour commute home.

i think there's more people in this neighborhood than in all of my town in alaska.

just looked it up.

clinton hill: 46,000
ketchikan, ak: 7,000

PHAT follow up:

2010-05-13T04:15:00.000-07:00

Clearly sandwiches were phat.

D = fat moon

K = fat elvis

Both = no dinner required

Photos were taken. Of ordering. Of eating. Of the small birds that stalked us whilst eating.

Phat ass success.

FAT

2010-05-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

Were going to get FAT sandwiches in new brunswick. For all you californians who've been living under a rock:

The fat sandwich (noun)- a HUGE sandwich. Hoagie roll. Toppings include any "regular" sandwich PLUS chicken fingers, hot dogs, french fries, etc. Kirstie Alley ate one of these and that's why she so fat (this time).

Well report back on the results and our consequent plans for lipo.

Adios Durham, here comes Chocolate City... kinda

2010-05-08T06:40:00.000-07:00

so so so

last night, for good times sake we partied like it was 2004. When livers were practically virgin and you'd drink anything including straight vermouth. And, much like the setting of my 21st year of life, there were hipsters, bohos, and too cool for school chris lake all partying it up whilst the dj spun in a poorly lit red room a la ecclectic. hill and i think we saw this girl. lauren. lauren something. she was duck footed and sporty. a foreshadowing of all the wesleyan to come, to be sure.

we did also unearth a new pickup line: "Apocalypse!"

said with enough conviction, it may inspire girls to talk to you, inquiring whether this is indeed their last chance to... well... people this is a family blog. A special thanks to Jeff for road-testing this one. Sorry you didn't get DJ girl. There are some great photos documenting the attempt however.

happy to say i do not have the 2010 hangover, so plans are still on to migrate north. north to freedom. but instead of an actual owner i'm gaining freedom from pollen. it's pretty thick down here.

literally. we went swimming in a lake. i thought the top was kinda dirty. NO. it was just a sheen of pollen. whoa. i'm bff's with claratin, but it didn't even do the trick.

and while our hosts have been overly accommodating, it is time to move on from our fabulous respite. dc, or alexandria and baltimore to be exact.

more later. this post goes out to RTeezey. you are my muse.

Sadly no Ruby

2010-05-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

After a lovely night in St. Augustine with our wonderful new friends Dian and Ana who we met on our travels in Thailand we left this morning due North to the land of Ruby!

We had an excessive lunch at Paula Deen's restaurant Lady & Sons where Danielle sat back to back with what we are pretty sure was one of her sons going somewhat incognito. There was blackberry googling and, while inconclusive, we have convinced ourselves it was. The fried green tomatoes were fantastic and each of our meals was delicious and ridiculous. Just know if you go there that when you order fries that in fact means a slice of potato boiled, breaded and fried....what!?!

After our gluttonous meal we waddled out and about for a bit hoping to run into Ruby, but sadly no Ruby.

We then continued our journey up into South Carolina to Charleston where we have reserved a bed in their hostel here in town. Very cute and I'm currently writing this post from the second floor porch - wireless is wonderful. Resting before possibly attending an open mic event tonight somewhere in town....

Forgive us

2010-05-01T19:05:00.000-07:00

Forgive us for not posting more. We are 11 days in to our 40 day road trip...yup it's that long, and currently in Tamarac, FL. Lots has happened since our last post.

New Orleans: Fantastic! We got in on last Friday night after a stop in Montgomery, AL through some of the heaviest rainstorms either of us had ever seen. Our fun-packed weekend with Hillary and Christie involved multiple visits to Cafe Du Monde for beignets, sight-seeing, Jazz Fest, afternoon drinking of Hurricanes in the French Quarter, a few crushes and some delicious food! (also some less than medium food at Cochon - so disappointing)

Next stop Tallahassee on the way to Orlando: We are both fans of La Quintas because they so rarely steer us wrong - except in Tallahassee. This hotel was where we landed for the night after shopping around the many hotels at that exit, and we thought we could risk it. Medium. There was the creepy other guests, the wrong room keys from the completely dead pan front desk clerk, and the dead pigeon in the middle of the pathway. We quickly locked the door, hopped in our sleepsheets (beds were questionable) and tucked in til the morning.

Orlando: Sort of. This is our first stop using D's vouchers so we were somewhat skeptical upon arrival. We got to the Orlando Welcome Center to check in and received the tickets to Universal Studios and Arabian Nights! This hotel was a few steps better than the La Quinta but had we traveled back in time to the 80s this hotel would have been amazing. The center of the hotel is a giant space the height of the hotel with murals all around, beach scape murals. Also included in this central space, a pizza hut, a recessed seating area with Karaoke nightly, the saddest buffet restaurant ever, and a pool with a "waterfall" and that is in quotes because it was a pipe with holes poked in it. I'm sure there will be some pictures up shortly.

Our full day in Orlando was Universal Studios - Islands of Adventure where we promptly rode all the rollercoasters. Spiderman was the best, Hillary was right. Then we participated in a TV show viewing where we made $15 each - we totally win. Maybe the only people to go to an amusement park and actually make money.

But the day wasn't done yet, not by far. We had tickets to a dinner show - Arabian Nights! This is a show that has a Bedoin girl who is actually an Arabian princess and has been kept safe from the villain by her fathers genie. Then throughout the show the genie proceeded to inform the princess about gypsies, cowboys, indians, unicorns, and torreadors all on horseback! Everything that you are imagining happened and was crazier than you think! Plus dinner! Yup!

Fort Lauderdale: Again, sort of. We are actually in Tamarac, FL outside of Fort Lauderdale a trick of these voucher stays. This hotel is definitely a couple steps up from the Orlando stay and we get every meal comped! It feels like we're back at a dorm and getting three meals a day - love it!

When we got in D was having a shopping craving so we got directions from the front desk and headed for the nearest Ross and Old Navy! We made it to the shopping area but didn't get past the Dot's!!! For those of you who went to school with D you are very aware of Dot's and the excitement that it caused us both to find this store. For those of you who don't know it's like Rainbow at it's very best! We did not make it to Ross or Old Navy and each bought more things to somehow fit in our bags...anyone shocked?

Today we went into the Everglades!! To get there you drive on a highway called Alligator Alley. There was Billie Swamp Safari on the Seminole reservation in the middle of the Everglades. We got the airboat tour and the swamp buggy. Around the camp there were alligators and tortoises and snakes. The airboat tour was great and we saw two alligators probably about 12 feet long each, also raccoons, ostrich, wild boar and cranes. Then we took the swamp buggy which went along an old canoe path that the Seminole used to use to escape the soldiers all around the reserve. K did not conquer her fear of alligators but did go and see them anyway.

On our way back we stopped at an Art & Music festival on the reservation and got amazingly delicious Indian Tacos and watched a traditional dress fashion show. The heat started to overwhelm us so we headed back to our hotel for our free dinner and a swim in the pool!

Now it's time to get back to watching School of Rock and get ready for our drive up to St. Augustine, FL tomorrow to stay with our friends we met in Thailand.

On the Road Again!

2010-04-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

So, despite our lack of posts we are very much not on the beach in Thailand anymore. After a few weeks back at home, where D was busier than when we used to have jobs, we are on the road again!

States visited or crossed through in our first two days: 5

We flew into DC on Tuesday evening and spent some quality time with K's sister before her next adventure. On Wednesday morning we jumped in our fly ride for the next month or so - the sweet sweet Prius - and drove to Durham, North Carolina and spent a lovely night with Hilary. We successfully helped to end her Trivia Night teams winning streak - although we only knocked them down to second place I can't help but feel a little guilty...

This morning we jumped back in the car as Hilary went to the airport - both to the same destination - New Orleans for the Jazz Fest. We passed our goal of Atlanta and made it to Montgomery, AL where yet again La Quinta came through in a clutch!

But the most important stop of our day happened in Spartanburg, SC at The Beacon Drive-In! This place was a Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives restaurant that D found on her crackberry and we ventured off the well traveled Interstate and found. Let us tell you it was worth it! We each had the rib special and they were amazing and the side of onion rings was almost as big as my face...there will be pictures and while we were not able to power through the whole plates we put in a good effort! This place was huge and fantastic and amazing...it is 6 hours later and we are both still full! I wish we could tell everyone to go there but it's not exactly on the normal route for most people.

Tomorrow: to New Orleans!!

Playas at las Playas

2010-03-25T02:17:00.000-07:00

yo

this trip

is no joke.

ko samet island: totally awesome, totally half local, totally gay, totally laid back.

we're chillin in an awesome bungalow. we're eating every meal literally on the beach. we're about to commit ourselves to imbibing drinks from a bucket.

this morning wading in the water i was the only person i could see on the ocean side. vendors hawk coconuts, chicken, sarongs, and massages at towelside. we're so digging the natives who have made this great stay possible. ... too bad they kinda laugh when i say thank you.

we feel at home with the bartenders (it's like they can smell the kerry house party on us). every woman here is wearing a bikini without regard to love handles and stomach pouches (clearly my people). and siesta exists.

amen and a good note to leave on.

C to the ambodia

2010-03-21T22:28:00.001-07:00

ah, so much has happened since last post. but, for brevity - and the sake that five Chinese tourists are mean mugging me, i shall be quick.

we finished our time in thailand going to the old capital, ayutthaya, then going to a resort (budgetish) off the rive kwai. the pool was slightly off (a la the former hot tub in our backyard) but the scenery was beautiful.

highlights of thailand:
riding an elephant
being told we were too fat to ride an elephant
seeing lizards all over (!)
learning how to squat pee accurately with minimizing pee ankle syndrome
jumping off a bamboo raft to float down the kwai river
a riverboat dinner cruise at sunset - the diesel and rice whiskey were a one of a kind combo
hooking up with three cool ass chicks from florida, all our older, wiser, fantastic travel buddies
eating a mango sticky rice sundae from dairy queen

then we flew to cambodia with just two of the gems on our tour, barbara and susan - or, as we commonly refer to them: frick and frack.

they're jersey. they're wearing makeup. they hate black kids who dont' wantt to learn and who look at their cell in the symphony. they're asking our guide if he wears shoes when not at work. what's not to love.

well, maybe them 69% of the time. but cambodia is THE BOMB.

do my capitals let you know i'm serious. we heart cambodia. our guide Bros was the best one could possibly ask for. he showed us angkor temples. he showed us the countryside. he showed us the city. he shared about his life.

cambodia highlights:
dumplings so nice - we went there twice
all around the best food of the trip
the five star resort we got to stay at. posh colonial estate beyond your wildest dreams. see here.
walking around the river to pub street to fraternize with collegiate toocoolforschool conquistadors.
50 cent beers
temples over 1000 years old with detail that looks like they were made last year.
palm sugar candy!
fresh cashews
all the coconut D could drink
mango shakes
(eat much?)
spring rolls
the local market fruit stalls (rambutan baby)
replacing cloth of my mommas that i destroyed accidentally as a dumb kid
finding pants that fit!
making plans to come back.

katie just got molested by a japones tourist. it's time to go.

Elephants and rivers, oh my!

2010-03-17T22:34:00.000-07:00

Our adventure has taken us to Kanchanaburi which is located very near the site of the Bridge over River Kwai, which we visited yesterday!

This morning consisted of early rising (again, can't seem to sleep past 6am here) and off to ride an elephant and river rafting. The elephant ride was geared totally for the tourists but still really fun. The river rafting was amazing. It was a flat bamboo raft with benches on it but D and K were in the water after only about two minutes on the raft. We floated the whole river it felt amazing!!

K is off to see Hellfire Pass this afternoon with the tour while D fends for herself...

Tomorrow: back to Bangkok airport and off to Cambodia!

9 days still to go, incredible!

Chubbies in Bangkok... I couldn't resist...

2010-03-14T17:32:00.000-07:00

it's 110 degrees here today. we're supposed to be going to see famous temples today, but may not be able to because of the protesters. everything, despite one million protesters (poor, rice growers, country folk - those not profiting in bangkok) seems super safe and happy. the protesters are all middle aged and older. it's very interesting times here.

aside from the fact that we tend toward the vaguely narcoleptic and are sleeping through our evenings, it's been a good ride.

we attempted to go to a Mon village north of bangkok. we didn't get there, but we did check out a market where we were the only non-thais. we took the ferry boat to the burbs of bangkok. there we were greeted with bamboo shoots, fresh ginger, frogs that - although gutted- were still moving, hella chicken feet, hella fish, and hella mangoes. It's mango season here don't you know.

Due to our freekishly early bed hours, D woke up at 4:30 and wandered pre-dawn bangkok. i don't know what leonardo decaprio's beef was, because depending on when and where you are, even in bangkok you can still feel like an exclusive outsider. But everyone was pleasant, if not slightly puzzled as to why the chubby non-thai brown girl was wandering the streets when there was nothing but local breakfast to buy.

today post-tour may involve shopping. or maybe another stab at the mon village. or maybe a massage. but definitely staying up past 10:30pm.

unknown foods eaten: 3.5*
unknown foods i'd eat again: 2.5

*.5: i thought i was buying a waffle on a stick... but NO! IT'S A WAFFLE WITH A HOT DOG INSIDE... on a stick

Hedgehogs, Tuk Tuks, and Owl's - Oh My...

2010-03-12T23:10:00.000-08:00

so, we have arrived safely in Bangkok. Our hotel is pretty posh and crawling with Europeans and other colonizers like myself. but there's hot water and ac and decent breakfast - so that rocks.

we've managed to ride a tuk tuk, haggle over not getting sucked into jewelery gem scams, gone to the largest flea market in the world (true? i'm not sure. but it was pretty damn big), seen thai b boys (they moved verrrrrrrrry slowly), touched a flying squirrel and hedgehog, saw a tiny owl in a tiny purple cowboy hat, was told i was not allowed to take a photo of a tiny owl with a tiny cowboy hat (most likely attributable to the fact we were in the contraband animals section of the market), and driven on the highway with truck after truck of red shirt protesters which excited us and our cabbie.

all very awesome. and all on four hours of sleep. so i think i'll nap or swim before our hand holding yellow bus-esque tour dinner and boat ride happens later today. thanks for all the energy expended to keep our plane in the air.

number of unknown foods eaten: 3
number of unknown foods we'd eat again: 2
number of coconuts today thus far: 1

Virgin

2010-03-10T10:19:00.000-08:00

no no, not us - we're off on leg one of stage three of our world tour. we fly virgin down to LA (perhaps seat flirting with cute jet setters?). our lovely host has agreed to lug our bags whilst we scope frat boys until she's done with "law school." Then off to the land of smiles and racially charged condescension: Thailand on a Tour.

Fingers crossed that there's several old couples. I'm searching for varicose veins and a hearing impairment. And perhaps a mildly autistic family that is traveling now because their kids go to year round school because "it's better for them." And dear god I hope we get matching visors and the guide has a flag on a pole.

All kidding aside: this is gonna be a bomb ass trip.

RadBaby!!

2010-01-25T15:21:00.001-08:00

Our Etsy shop is up and running!! Come check it out.

The link is http://www.etsy.com/shop/RadBaby.

Quelf has come to the lower 48

2010-01-22T16:16:00.000-08:00

So, we are back in the wonderful bay area - Oakland in particular! In addition to feeling lovely to be back in a city we also know people here!! But don't fear we did bring back some new things with us from Alaska, what you ask? Quelf!!

Quelf, maybe the best board game ever made, has made its way to the lower 48, and it was good! I could attempt to explain it to those of you, that did not experience if first hand because it was a rather large group, but pictures will be much better...

Quelf...in pictures!

one half of us hearts sarah palin*

2010-01-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

*views expressed in this post only belong to 50% of the traveling duo... or do they...

I've finally sussed out my love for la senora of the north: madam pres... uh, I mean Sarah Palin.

people trip and ask why.

I typically have a long drawn out answer about how I dig people who construct their own boundaries of legitimacy, of how she reminds me of my family, of how she disturbs 'liberal' ideas of merit and rationality, of how she's an entirely accurate reflection of a large segment of this nation, and about how she's not a hoax - she was a democratically elected leader meaning the majority of somewhere that we give a large chunk of decision making power actually wanted her as a leader for real real.

But the answer is shorter. it came to me at a comedy show watching old white presumably monied ladies hiss at the mention of her name:

I like her because she makes people angry. particularly white people. particularly rich white people. particularly the bustier sex.

and while I really TRULY do wish that bridge to nowhere was built (it would have been a route off the island) I can take great pleasure in the fact that most Alaskans I met are of similar mind to the old white ladies in flowy skirts. strange bedfellows indeed.

welcome home.

mc donalds inequities

2009-12-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

OMG

This may be the most influential post ever. It may spark controversy and debate- but I feel it is my duty to speak the truth about this global corporation and one of their least fair business practices:

Mcdonalds in ketchikan serves breakfast until 11am!

Not ten like the mamby pamby vegan tolerating bay - but a sausage mc muffin mid day happy break AT ELEVEN.

Almost enough to make a girl stay (you know how the breakfast sandwich is my siren call...)

Special and ironic thanks goes to meg for aiding my,albeit late, discovery, of this uber tasty morsel of miscellaneous pig parts. Mmm thanks.

Undiagnosed

2009-12-02T10:05:00.000-08:00

this entire town has an undiagnosed social disorder. up is down. black is white. open is closed. and everyone is cool with that.

i think it may stem from the fact that everyone comes here to be alone. ergo, when in stores, with their children, in bars, etc. there is always a vague haze of ignoring the nearest humans. often they would prefer to be looking at boats and communicating with eagles.

this, like most social disorders, is fine and inconsequential generally. it can be problematic, however, when interacting with people is a necessity (e.g. a job). Clocking in, recording hours, agreeing upon shifts has all proven to be a minefield of misunderstanding - we believe it is probably the fault of the undiagnosed social disorder rampant in this here village. it's probably the fish.

other weirdness examples include:
-weird guy about town seen weekly who speaks to us as though we're cousins in a donald duck voice

-excessive phone calls at 5 am for susan. something about her prescription meds. all from different people. we joked that it could me meth face mc jail coworker from our working days...but no, she doesn't have our number. old lady prescription meds caller gives a last name. IT WAS meth face mc jail!

-um, ju jitsu diet anyone?

-everyone insists we are moving here. all the time. everyone - the bartenders, the old lady at the collectible shop, our old boss. everyone.

-mattress ranch

-creepy guy who watches everyone from his window... at night... without binoculars, just standing in the window frame.

this hamlet's been swell, but home's a callin...

A THIRD!

2009-11-29T22:41:00.000-08:00

A visitor has come unto us this thanksgiving - we are thankful.

K's sister has arrived. she has brought with her a diminished volume of television watching in favor of exploring the island across the water, exploring a cave (turned out to be a farce), revisiting the totems and slinging back some cold ones.

We explored an alpine muskeg where we were met with closed roads - one because of explosives beyond the point of no return. 2 out of 3 of us turned back. D also found not berries, but medicinal herbs. tea ahoy! we'll let you know how that goes...

And best of all, she brought us news of a local guest speaker: dave valentine the life-long logger.

See photo attached. Or the whole shebang here

Thanks for new blood!

Oh Alaska

2009-11-18T16:34:00.000-08:00

Still dogsitting which means that on snowy days your two favorite Alaska travelers are in two different apartments. What happens in this case? Obvi we gchat!

Danielle: should we get pie right now? they're going to steal the car from us soon

me: i don't want to go now....but I do think we should go again this week

Danielle: ok

me: also i called the delivery thing back because Brandee called me back but obvi said nothing in her message tomorrow afternoon between 12-3 is when they'll deliver so we can go then...

i'll come over to you first tomorrow

whatcha doin?

Danielle: nothing

seeing how my blackberry message is being shown in russian on my computer

me: are you kidding?

verizon is going to get an ass kicking

Danielle: yeah. but i keep waitig till i have the fight it me. and i just dont

me: i meant in person when we get home but the phone might be better...who knows

Danielle: we can start it tomorrow at the store

you'll be all mad good time to call

me: perfect....

they don't know what's coming

have you ever seen Fargo?

me: i haven't and it's on now....i'm kind of excited....

Danielle: i tried to watch it

it's boring

vh1 is showign one hit wonders

me: hmmm we'll see how far i get...

oooh!

Danielle: i want good chocolate cake

me: i want snacks...not condiments

Danielle: no go

you may have a potato

i want meat

not fish

dinner: fish

me: ditto

Danielle: :-(

me: ditto

Danielle: yo quiero pie

Danielle: this would be a good blog post

me: indeed...

fargo does = boring

watching CSI....again

took typing tests online this afternoon

my wpm is lowering with all this luxurious unemployment

Danielle: i cant believe a) you knew your wpm anytime since 7th grade

or b) that you're actually doing that

me: i had to take a test to temp...

and alaska is boring

Danielle: http://www.lizardpoint.com/fun/geoquiz/

me: thank you!

are you posting or should i

Danielle: i can't post copied text

wtf

fucking property rights

me: on it

I know you are all now completely jealous of the exciting lives we are leading...control yourselves.

p.s. it is now 3:50pm and nearly dark...which wouldn't be a problem but we found out the other night that the wood bridge heading to our apartment freezes, so that our tires spin and don't move, after dark when the temp drops...

now back to CSI

Window

2009-11-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

I just watched the rain turn into snow before my very eyes. While this was happening a float plane landed in the water right in front of the house.

It's not a whale, but it's pretty good.

Oceanic Farce or: Walking the Dog

2009-11-16T12:20:00.000-08:00

Took the dog on a walk to the "beach" yesterday. I woke up and it was beautiful and sunny. Packed my plastic bag and set out. Weather was beautiful on the drive to the beach. Got out with mutt.

Turns out that when they say 'high tide' they mean it here. It was so high there was no beach to walk on. No matter. We changed course to walk the highway (known to locals as a "trail" - wtf). Ten minutes into our skirting the one lane freeway: it starts to rain. Naturally, this happens what living in a rainforest and all. Eyeing the ominous clouds and recalling there's a huge storm warning I thought it smart to turn back to the car.

I walk back to the trusty ford Taurus sedan with the trick locks that I've been gratefully sporting (courtesy of the dog owners). I get in and all the sudden cars start pulling in beside me. I was the only car in the lot and now there are 5 cars. All parked facing the water. All cooing and looking intently at the waves.

Well crap! what am I missing? i thinks to myself... i know! i'll turn on the radio - maybe it's whales!

the following are all of the radio stations in range:
christian rock
christian bible reading
old timey vaudvillian stand up

the end.
and none of them told me there were whales.

so i sat, eyes open waiting to see what everyone else was looking at. and then they started to leave.

i've decided they were looking at the waves (waves are rare here given that it's blocked by a bunch of other islands). But i'll kick myself if i've missed a whale....

and three minutes after driving away the sun came out.

ooh a rope swing

2009-11-13T00:08:00.000-08:00

While we got some snow/slush today - hooray! - yesterday we actually had a nice, dry morning and early afternoon. We took full advantage and went for a nice walk around Ward Lake. Now I know you think about a lake in Alaska and maybe you think it's very large and surrounded by wild animals. However this one is in fact quite small maybe only a little over a mile around and there was a sign telling us about ducks in the area. I'm starting to think that I'm going to see more wild animals after we get back to Oakland - or at least the same amount...

It was beautiful and so calm, there are some houses or cabins on the shore that have fire places for day camping.

You can see the snow up on the mountain tops but until today it had not come down into town...it was like we were being teased.

We brought Randall, the maltese that we are currently dogsitting with us...while a little dog and kind of a tweaker he is quite cute. We did force him into some photos that I'm not sure he was so into but he's a dog and we needed props.

Overall this was a lovely calm nature walk around the lake. Our full album is on our picasa but the definite highlight of the trip was when we came upon a rope swing over the water. Please note that the weather is probably in the high 40s or low 50s, not exactly warm. What was revealed was that D is clearly more adventurous of the two and while there may not have been precipitation, a rare occurence, this trip still definitely involved getting wet!

She's sees the rope swing...but maybe the loop is too high off the ground to get her foot in...It'll work the same if you loop it around your shoulder, right?

Turns out it doesn't work the same....I was laughing too hard at the time to get a picture of her all the way in the water but she was.

We're both still laughing

high school musical: the real version

2009-11-06T20:25:00.000-08:00

We are at this moment sitting in the ketchikan kings (as in salmon) high school auditorium to watch the community theatr production of the wizard of oz.

We wish wed had an extra cocktail at home.

I will def need a cigarette to get through this.

At least we switched seats with children thus getting adult width chairs (helpful fo tose of us thick madames...

2 children have touched me thus far. Oh god. Its starting

We are mountain women

2009-11-05T15:40:00.000-08:00

our reward for hiking up a 45 degree hill to arrive at a trail head....

was pretty worth it. although my cellulite was on fire, there was a pretty pretty trail. glad we went when we did - on foggy days visibility can be five feet. many a hiker gets disoriented. on freezing days the half of the trail under water (seriously, it's walking through waterfalls!) would be uber treacherous. Pretty hike last week.

Currently we are holed up in our cabin/house watching the horizontal rain. The TV and radio just issued a warning to all ships saying they should all go the nearest harbor because a mega storm is a-comin. the wind is whipping. the rain is falling in sudden heavy downpour clumps ("rain dumps?" i forgot the term). They said the rain dumps could suddenly overturn boats. Whoa. The snow is capping the mountain behind our house. We live in mad nature.

Alaska women!!!!

on the bus

2009-11-02T16:22:00.000-08:00

Girl/woman: "Want some gum?"(Obvi pilfered from childs haloween stash offered to a stranger)

Assburger young man: "uh... Yeah..."

G: "but - its cinnamon"

AG: "uh, then no. I'm not supposed to have spices because of my jujitsu diet"

?!?! REALLY...

We go on to learn that she's 18, has a husband,Drinks and smokes weed and would like to know the same about everyone else. AB asks for her name. She replies, "shithead".

Assburger then asks K and I if were a couple... But he wasn't sure if the question would make us uncomftorable.

Generic To Do List Typical of any day in Oct.

2009-10-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

a. wake before 2pm. looking out at inside of cliff face on which house is perched. water tempts to lull me back to sleep. water is rain and small creek that has started to flow along outer edge of foundation
b. restrain from googling whether ketchikan has mudslides - locals tell me they don't
c. make elaborate lunch/breakfast from scratch
d. watch 2-5 law and orders
e. open door to allow air circulation in window box "modern" 70's hillside apt
f. spend at least half hour catching two flies that have come in via door or seldom opened window. no screens present on any house orifices.
g. pine for cosmopolitanness and X loved one
h. admonish self for pining - am in alaska!
i. look up prices to go explore more of alaska
j. again shriek that this place is unforgivably inaccessible and am incredulous that to get to the island i can see will cost me the same as trip home to oakland. fact: hawaii is cheaper to get to than a glacier
k. look in guidebook for other great things to do here. am being plucky
l. have literally done everything in guide book under $100 in radius of our legs and public transportation
m. have fit
n. sew something
o. watch CSI. brainstorm halloween costumes for grand party at the town's civic center
p. watch CSI again because it sneaks the next episode before the first one has ended. clever carnie trick CSI... very clever....
q. mute TV to speculate on what man upstairs is doing
r. occasionally leave house for own health (store, coffee, hike, stalk minimal acquaintances)
s. think how blanche deveraux is showing us up
t. watch golden girls (on 100% of hours here)
u. do something creative. have decided am currently at artists retreat. that is going very well
v. try to get fit. get bored/involved in another CSI (unless its miami... hate miami)
w. read almost one book a day
x. put makeup on for self
y. attempt photoshoot. delete results
z. go to bed between 2 and 5am. vow to keep normals hours tomorrow.

Thank you Ma Sufflita!

2009-10-29T18:26:00.001-07:00

We have recently received some lovely care packages from down south (that's what they call anything below Canada) from Ma' Sufflita. Some lovely Halloween candy and mugs to keep us in the holiday spirit...then today we went to the post office, on the bus with the smelliest man we have ever smelled.

Please note this was an out of the ordinary day for us - we were outside of our apartment! In fact we even went to breakfast at a restaurant!

Ok, so at the post office D receives a large envelope from the home front and the excellence within that envelope can only be appropriately conveyed via video!

what hibernation looks like

2009-10-29T17:42:00.001-07:00

When we do reach out to the lower 48 many ask "What do you do?" and I'm sure that some of you have experienced our answers of "nothing...no really nothing." I thought it was time to show you what two women hibernating in Alaska might look like.

There is a lot of sleeping as the term hibernating would suggest. In the daylight hours I have not gotten up before 11:30 this entire month. One night D had a spider we couldn't find in her room so she slept in the living room....

There was talk of me pulling one of my mattresses out, however I am currentlty sleeping on two twin beds tied together with rope to keep them from sliding apart in the night and I didn't want to take apart such a technical set up.

Our days also involve art projects and sewing projects galore and cooking (obviously for D only). Some things we have completed are baby blankets for dear knocked up friends. We made lox again! It looks like this....

D is working on lots of exciting projects which cannot be divulged yet (i.e. presents, don't be so nosy!), I have made a linoleum print of a creepy octopus, created gum paste flowers (like on the Amazing Wedding Cakes show on TLC), made some stuffed animal cats (they're only minimally creepy) and completed a woodblock of the dead salmon to be found stinking up our lovely little town....

I have yet to attempt to print it but so far I'm fairly happy with it....we'll see.

So, to recap we sleep, create and watch a ton of tv - does anyone realize how many wedding shows are on tv at all times? I dream about weddings, not something in my personality.

Tyra, Mixies, and Black/brownface

2009-10-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

Um.

Tyra has founded the neo blackface fashion spread - by way of mixies. I have to say, the shame i sometimes have of my kind - induced by huge egos, cluelessness, uppitiness, bourgieness, selling our darker kin down the river (sometimes literally), and internalized white supremacy - was actually in direct proportion to the stupidity of this episode.

choice quotations:
"think about Egypt, the people, what they've been through"

"in Botswana, music is heard everywhere you go"

"Hapa means half in Hawaiian"

Don't send Fat Kids to Alaska

2009-10-28T01:58:00.000-07:00

setting: in the same 800 sq. food apt the following g chat conversation actually occurred

d: i know what you did last week

k: i think it was two weeks ago if your talking about that thing
time flies when you do nothing

d: no i was making a movie analogy

k: i got that too, thought it had double meaning..
whatcha doin?

d: sitting five feet from your bed

k: oh
creepy

d: i hear you typing
and breathing

k: if there were an upstairs i'd run there and not be able to get out

d: i need dessert
i'm gonna slit my wrists unless i have dessert

k: you still have ice cream sandwiches... the serious way?

d: they're not cutting it
its cheap

k: we could walk to pioneer for pie

...and so we did.

UNTIL IT WAS CLOSED. THE ONLY 24 HOUR ESTABLISHMENT (a shitty diner not to be confused with the magnificent beautiful heavenly pie lady). closed.

the only food/dessert/sausage/cheeseburger to be had is whatever i remembered to buy at the grocery store several days ago.

this is criminal. v. like peasants of yesteryear. someone should open a 24 hour diner/bakery here. you'd make a killing. i'd hook you up with my local connections. not joking.

so of course we went to a bar instead. one drink: g&t and jameson and soda.

while the sonic commercial taunted me from the silent tv in the corner we could only agree with the barkeep:

at least it's exciting that it might snow.

Things we have found out in our copious amounts of free time:

2009-10-26T01:52:00.000-07:00

seagulls are found on all 5 continents and have existed for at least 30 million years

all animals are believed to have evolved from sponges - sponges!

one reduces the temperature of a cheesecake to cool it gradually which keeps it from cracking on top

ramen gets its yum from sea cucumber

there are no snakes in alaska

A City Without ANY Mexicans

2009-10-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

dude. there are no mexicans here.

there is one cuban. the lady i waited for the bus with at walmart said of him, "he's such a fuckin cuban - playin all that mexican music all loud and shit." She told me that right after telling me about how old people tried to kidnap her daughter two separate times, although in truth i think one time was a mistake.

but for real: can you really imagine a town without a mexican?

sometimes i have to mariachi yell to keep their spirit alive...

boyz

2009-10-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

Alaskan men are normal normal boys who are willing to work and couldn't make it in a big pond.

Please note: this new and accurate description says nothing of criminal records, drug use, ATTRactiveness, age, or social skills.

That is all.

the pie...

2009-10-21T19:39:00.001-07:00

Ok so we have been informed by some of our followers that we did not post about the results of our pie excursion. The result?

The pie was amazing! We rented a car that day and started driving for what we thought would definitely be a day trip. In fact this island is quite small and in about 30 minutes we were there. It is in Knudson Cove and is in fact amazing. It is a little shack with outdoor seating and along with a lot of pie options it has a full lunch menu.

We decided to have lunch there. K tried the clam strips and a piece of lemon cheesecake. This was some of the best cheese cake I have ever had from the taste to the texture! Also note, the cheesecake was the first part of lunch. D had two pieces of pie - lunch and dessert and both met her very exacting palette.

From there we drove another 10 min to Settler's Cove where we did some exploring and then another two minutes we hit the end of the road....literally. This road is the main road for the island and we got to the end in, if driven straight, less than an hour. Something a little shocking for two city girls!

Here are the pictures from our pie/rental car day!

a minivan, really?

2009-10-21T19:14:00.001-07:00

So yesterday at the one coffee shop in town (which is only open til 3pm - thanks winter hours) K was sitting and reading a biography of Leonardo DaVinci when in walks 4 Coast Guard men/boys in full uniform.

Those of you who know K know that a sight like this would definitely distract her from almost any activity! Here is where the Alaska twist comes in....2 of the 4 are married and apparently the vehicle of choice is a minivan - a dodge minivan.

While, when examined this all makes sense however upon first glance it is funny and disappointing all at once. Just like seeing not hot firefighters....just a little wrong.

honky

2009-10-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

D: maaan! Crackaz be gangin up!

K: well. That is historically accurate.

(Re: the biggest loser vote...and hegemony)

Actually Helpful Link

2009-10-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

Secret bra money pocket!

In Case You Too Have Free Time

2009-10-15T00:49:00.001-07:00

I have free time. I am unemployed/retired. Regular unemployment is yucky and poor and by force. I'm livin like a rich WASP who just graduated an ivy league school and is finding myself. Incidentally, this has offered rich creative opportunities. (probably the world's great people achieved creative heights - pyramids, etc - because they were taking a year off. unclear how could be achieved otherwise.)

Anyhoo, we've taken up sewing/quilting/painting/writing/printing. Currently on the docket: a homespun nightgown. But except for homespun I'm using rough walmart clearance fabric. it'll be cute. trust me.

my first attempt is rather like a pink won ton wrapper that stayed up by sheer force of my own massive bosom and it's antigravitational protrusions. it is below medium. but it was just scrap - there's still hope.

purchased prettier fabric (also walmart clearance - how can you beat $1.50/yard???!)

sought out patterns online.

found the enclosed photo. in case you too want to snazzy up an inexpensive sweatshirt, i have included the link.

thank the muse!

Googling Yourself: 2.0

2009-10-11T01:37:00.000-07:00

ok, so of course you've googled yourself, your family, your roommates, any potential love interest - heck, maybe you've even googled that guy that gave you his first name and the fact that he once lived in portland...

point is: in this day and age googling an individual is standard.

i have an upgrade.

it may blow your mind.

once you know it, you can't unknow it.

and i tell you this at my own risk - you may find embarrassingly hideous photos of me. in reality am doing impression of drunk girl.

GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH YOURSELF.

mind trip yo

Favorite

2009-10-09T22:23:00.000-07:00

Snuggie Addendum

2009-10-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

The dog - in the dog snuggie -- in the reading glasses... is reading a book about Frise dogs. Incidentally, it is a Frise. That's deep yo. Real deep. In my abundant free time I have compiled a montage of all things dog snuggie... and prego snuggie.

I call it Snuggie Montage I.

Honestly, what did one do before the internet...

Priorities

2009-10-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

Is it problematic that when faced with a yahoo homescreen with 'obama wins nobel peace prize' and 'reality tv's dugger clan welcomes new baby' i went for the duggers?

I don't think so. They're just so friendly. And pregnant. And organized in that charming homespun honest way. They prayed for obama to receive wise counsel you know...

snuggie!

2009-10-07T02:25:00.000-07:00

A) obvi a big thank you to our beloved home biscut tandizzle who, upon seeing my fitted sheet "robe" sent us awesome snuggies.

B) has anyone else apprciated the best part of that commercial? The dog (clearly in a dog snuggie that yes- you actually can buy) is wearing walgreens reading glasses. Holla at a nearsighted bitch.

We moved!!

2009-10-06T13:15:00.001-07:00

We've moved into a new place and it has quickly become a crafting den!

The new address is 738 Grant St., Ketchikan, AK 99901.

There is lovely wood paneling and lots of animal paintings. The new kitchen has already seen the baking of a coffee cake, flautas, salmon dip and soon to be ceviche!

This is the home base for the rest of our Alaska time...now just to find some friends....

quote:

2009-10-03T01:40:00.000-07:00

D: "I miss my kids"

K: "I'm not black"

D ran to the bano to pee because she was laughing so hard she had to pee... On to sobriety food

legacies

2009-10-03T01:24:00.000-07:00

For one whooooole year I taught math. Specifically, I taught "1+2=3"... And they still didn't learn it.

Says K: "but they learned slavery"

OMG... less than 24 hours till PIE

2009-09-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

it is true folks. yourses trulies will be going to see the one, the only:

sitka pie lady.

are we going to sitka (site of jews, russians, and recent hollywood pretty people filming)?

NO.

WRONG.

she moved here, has a shop in the marina far north and not accessible via bus, and it, apparently is the only shop there. we have to find it. there's nothing else.

let me take you back, back, back to a time when two fine tipping dusky locals came up to my crab counter oh but a few weeks ago...

me: "where you from?" (question asked to all - answer invariably is either arizona, vancouver, or the deep south)
them: "here"
m: "oh, wow, some local folk. what have you been up to today?"
t: "well, we are from here and are back visiting. today we went to see the sitka pie lady"

i had a gustatory heart attack - how could this be? a pie lady? a pie lady in my own town? my own town that has only one restaurant I haven't yet been two despite arriving five weeks ago - how?! who would deprive me of pie???!

they went on to explain that she is the pie lady from a restaurant in the sitka airport. people would get off their plane during a 30 minute layover to go buy a pie. not a slice of pie - a pie. the whole pie. if not multiple pies. clearly some evil local plot has been keeping me from my pie - fruit, peanut butter, chocolate - they've been pulling the polar bear furr over mine eyes.

i mean, clearly i love to eat... TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PIE.

they trotted off after tipping well (holler) and i stored this morsel of critical information away. my list of things to see in AK is now ranked 1) the pie lady 2)the indian island (no joke, actual island) 3)moose lodge 4)totem poles at the other massive totem pole park 5)tidepools (but i have to be careful not to get caught out and drown due to rapid tide changes)

i digress. back to pie.

after finishing my day i walked next door two weeks ago to the local watering hole and inquired of the ginger haired barmaid - where and how do i get to the pie. she related what she knew - vague directions without street names which seem to be the town hallmark and i proceeded to mi jameson on the rocks.

flash forward to today. fresh faced from my second day of unemployment and with wheels (rented a car to move into next apt - 2 bedrooms this time yall, we movin on up). excited to be driving and not lugging bags in the rain we thought we'd capitalize on our chance to explore past the bus boundaries and investigate this pie situation. K and I recalled different directions to said pie shop, and, without streets, a name of the store, a name of the pie lady, or agreement on whether it was north or south, we sought local aid.

nobody

had

heard

about

the pie lady.

no joke. but fair readers: i did not die. i proceeded to google. google had nothing. (where the fudge pie do you have to be to google something that exists and get NOTHING - locality check like whoa). but, if at first you don't succeed...

after erroneously calling other businesses in the vicinity of where i thought it should be, asking random shopkeeps around downtown, and questioning the visitors bureau i earned nill for my efforts.

saddened, we made our way to alaska car rental to pickup wheels for the next 24 hours. k - bless her heart - had the presence of mind to ask just oooooooone more time.

the sweet dowdy woman behind the counter is my new fav. person - she confirmed that the pie lady exists and her stalwart shopboy -a little too indie tinged for this town in his tattered nautical wool coat and long bangs - even pointed it out on a map.

i shall tell you what angels taste like when baked into a pie. stay tuned.

lox to knock off yo socks

2009-09-28T22:52:00.000-07:00

We made lox yall! If your lucky you'll get some from santa at christmas.

Expect photos of a brunch soon...

which is better?

2009-09-25T18:54:00.000-07:00

gay cruisers or lesbian cruisers?

the gays seem to be more fun but the lesbians seem to spend more and talk to each other so if you make a good impression on one people come in all day long saying "I heard this was good..."

so far we've had multiple gay man cruises and today was the first lesbian cruise since we've been here.

Highlight: A Top Chef contestant from a couple seasons ago showed up at D's lunch counter! This is her.

Lowlight: She was a snotty bitch and then we remembered that she sucked and got kicked off quite early.... p.s. as D so eloquently put it. If you are a chef you should know that crab season isn't really until december so don't order crab and then have a shit fit if it's not perfect!

green green

2009-09-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

I've decided two things. First: the only way to make itlong erm in food service is to either be high or listen exclusively to stoner music. While my esteemd colleagues choose to puff uffon break I've tuned the ipod to sublime. Wishful thinking.

Second: evryone here grows. I haveto do double takes consistently to see If im in mendicino. Seriously why is everyone so open about this. I'm obviously a square and frakly almost look the picture of a DEA agent (rolled into town, know nobody, no history - smells like feds to me...)

40 oz...

on the hunt

2009-09-23T18:40:00.000-07:00

No no, we're not going hunting....yet. We are on the hunt for a new apartment. Some of the prices are coming down (slightly) and lots of people are leaving so on our day off yesterday we went trekking around and looked at some options. We've narrowed it down and are looking at 1 pretty seriously. It's straight up a hill which all of them seem to be but just have images of sliding down it on my butt after falling on ice, or very unsuccessfully trying to climb up a hill of ice. Look out for stories of these events once winter comes....oh dear.

Additionally K is obviously on the hunt for a man at the same time. That is, unfortunately, a search with sadder prospects than the apartment search. There is one potential victim however, as you all know, K does not like to do a lot of work and he, in the words of his employer, "thinks at the speed of a glacier". Even my boss, who is not always observant, commented that he was a little slow.

What does this mean? He has been coming into K's store on a regular basis and not buying anything, only talking to her and being easily distracted by her....um....assets. All this is incredibly flattering however the encounters are generally ending with ok "see you tomorrow" or "I don't have a tour tomorrow so I'll be working the next day". And again you all know that K has very little patience and so is getting more and more frustrated by the day.

I'm sure some of you are saying "Just ask him out K" or "give him your number, duh" but at a certain point it turned into an entertainment of it's own and now K is watching to see if the love affair will ever blossom, a la molder & scully (spelling?) stay tuned...

ummm

2009-09-20T18:12:00.000-07:00

Umm, also, it turns out we live in a rainforest....oops!

p.s. it's raining again

alaska wireless...

2009-09-20T18:00:00.001-07:00

Jigga What?

2009-09-19T22:43:00.001-07:00

So, as we spend more time here we have come to notice some stark differences between Alaska and our home state of California....

Differences between Alaska & California:

In Alaska, the Walmart is tiny (like actually really quite small) and does not carry good sweatpants and only one long sleeve shirt (for women).
In Alaska, fat people have love lives
In Alaska, there is an ass at the end of our street
In Alaska they don't recycle (at all)
In Alaska they don't hug trees they clear cut them
In Alaska a bus transfer is a radio call from one bus driver to the other announcing the number of transfers and where

We expect that this list will continue to grow as time increases so stay tuned...

Quinoa: couscous 2.0

2009-09-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

Need I say more? Try it people!

pop goes the racism: another american classic

2009-09-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

So, in my traveling wilderness nostalgia for that which never was in my life i really wanted to obtain a copy of Little House on the Prairie.

I have vivid memories of maple candy formed on new snow and was intrigued and delighted when i read about how the kids in the story fried and ate the pigs's tale - it seemed appropriately rugged reading for this frontier adventure i've assigned myself.

Lo and behold while trolling the tiny Salvation Army in town, there were three Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Striving for modesty in my possessions (i know - how new of me right?) I only purchased one: Little House in the Big Woods.

Hiding from the rain in the laaaame coffee shop (that hearkens to smith/northampton/lesbianism/low caliber service in exchange for metro-cosmpoolitan buppieness) i dove into the book.

Spring took me through flowering prairies. Autumn was pig fattening, hunting, and meat smoking. And winter was boring. So boring that Pa had to play the fiddle to entertain the youngins. His ditty (to the tune of pop goes the weasel):

"There was an old darkey

And his name was Uncle Ned,

And he died long ago, long ago.

There was no wool on the top of his head,

In the place where the wool ought to grow.

"His fingers were as long,

As the cane in the brake,

His eyes they could hardly see,

And he had no teeth for the eat the hoe-cake,

So he had to let the hoe-cake be.

"So hang up the shovel and the hoe,

Lay down the fiddle and the bow,

There's no more work for old Uncle Ned,

For he's gone where the good darkeys go."

Lucky uncle ned.

Grieving with the familiar sting of yet another childhood classic gone the was of le american bigotry we slug our way through the drizzle past spawning salmon to the movie theatre.

I can call it the movie theatre because it's the only one. I thought my pain might be assuaged by watching the life, loves, and times of two white chicks. That's right - I finally got to see Julie Julia.

It was snugglie like a cup of hersheys cocoa homemade hot chocolate (follow the recipe folks - it's foolproof). Or perhaps satisfying as the snuggies we both received courtesy of our sister from another mister stuck in oakland. Either way, the movie was good. 96% good!

There's been a lot of food in my life, and in response to the Frenchie on Top Chef claiming french as the supreme cuisine, K and I were posing the question: if you had to eat just one comida for your entire life what would it be?

I said west indian. K said that was cheating because it is the result of colonial fusion. I said it's fair game. But this raises a good question: What is your favorite pre-colonial cuisine?

2009-09-10T22:05:00.000-07:00

OK.

it's been hard to post given a. our reduced internet capacity (please see photos for our "alaskan wireless") and b. we're working like immigrants.

you heard me: like IMMIGRANTS!

an appropriate response given by scribe was, "well, as chris rock says - if you have a job that an immigrant can steal... you got a fucked up job."

and indeed i do. my feet are consistently on the verge of bleeding after standing for literally up to 9 hours. this is a whole new angle for an econ class: 'do you want to stand up for 9 hours? let's have class today standing up. oh, what's that billy - you don't like standing up forever? THEN GET A BA!'

i know. i'm a powerful teacher. can't wait to slap that lesson on em.

highlights:

-the 67% decipherable chef is from oakland and promises to make me adobo crab (?)

-the other chef (who has the shakes) likes K and finally had a first prolonged first human conversation

-we got off early today because the cruise ships couldn't dock in the city because there were 16 foot swells

-D attempted to catch fish with her bare hands... while tipsy. she grasped fish 3 times... fish, incidentally are slippery.

-i eat HELLA crab

-being single and without a criminal record, addiction to alcohol prescription medication, or marijuana makes us two of three women we've met yet... including teens.

-no pregnant women have tried to run us over in a borrowed vehicle, then gotten out and said, "i'm still gonna rip your throat out bitch," and then punched us in the jaw (unlike our one coworker/friend here... pobrecita)

-we're gonna sew!

-K like broccoli

-a lumberjack gave me a piece of wood

-we can work an espresso machine better than any barista at the lakeshore OR alameda starbucks

-the bus is one dollar

lowlights:

-the bus does not seem to keep any perceptible schedule

-working 10 days in a row (pah - labor laws shmabor laws)

-we're not friends with any indians yet

-we apparently can't get hurt here because, as advised by a local "hell no, i'd fly to seattle for any important shit"

-it rains like... a rainforest yo (who knew that was indeed a literal translation)

-we only kick it at the pussy smoke free bar because we're too tired to walk farther

-there's two places to shop: Tongass Trading Company (akin to big longs meets pier 39 meets REI... but smaller), or Walmart. Walmart had one option of long sleeve t-shirt to buy. ONE.

-there is no curry powder... anywhere

at least tim gun can keep us company.

US Men of Steel!

2009-09-10T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ok, we are both too hungover and exhausted to write a real post about this yet. However I needed to put in a little teaser.

Alaska women are, in the words of Beyonce, african and bold! There was lots of naked man and lots of groping. D and I were actually shocked by some of it. There is so much to tell but it will have to come soon.

Now, back to bed to kick the all day hangover and be ready for work tomorrow morning at 8:00am...ick!

Photo Albums - there's more!

2009-09-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we had our first day off and that obvi resulted in more pics. From now on you can check the gallery for new albums.

See our pics, or go to the following link http://picasaweb.google.com/katie.e.oneil

mini football!!!

2009-09-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

baby boys playing football outside our windows!!!! perk of living near a school ball field - it's adorable!!

it's the weekend!!!

2009-08-31T22:44:00.001-07:00

We finally have some days off. D has had one day off and K has been working straight through since we started.

How did we celebrate our "Friday" you ask? Well after we got off work at 7:00pm we went to the bar two doors down and had our standard drinks - K with the well Gin & Tonic and D with the Jameson on the rocks - and watched the "lumberjacks" drink, yell and faux fight. "Lumberjacks" is in quotes because they are in fact from the local lumberjack show and do not actually work to haul lumber - and much to K's dismay there was no flannel.

Post drinking (a la 8:15pm) we wandered in the direction of Chico's Mexican Restaurant - Best Pizza in Town. Yup. Alaska truly enjoys the blending of Mexican and Italian cuisines, there are in fact two Mexican/Italian restaurants in town. The food was as expected and then we walked home.

There are lots of stars and you can still see the salmon swimming upriver at night - it's nuts! D got a video of some swimming up a waterfall, we will attempt to post shortly.

On the list for the weekend: walmart, totem poles, salmon hatchery and more groceries....so far.

PIctures!!!

2009-08-29T22:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, we got some photos online - finally!

The travels from Oakland to Ketchikan are in this album, including the ferry etc.

The ones from our adventures here in the great state of Alaska are in this album. Go there for pics of the nunnery and USSR!

no longer transients!

2009-08-29T20:52:00.001-07:00

We have found an apartment!!

We live in an attic apartment across the street from the middle school. In fact as we speak I'm watching a high school football game from our bedroom, while they play in pouring rain (by the way it has rained everyday since we arrived) on gravel. Apparently not enough drainage for grass - kids really are tougher here in AK

It is a one bedroom teeny tiny apartment - nothing like the glamorous days of the big house - with two twin beds in our one bedroom. Yay sleep overs for life!

We are officially working stiffs. D works the seafood bar aptly named the Crab Cracker and K is workin' at the fish market and studiously learning the nuances of King Salmon vs. Sockeye Salmon. The realization I (K) have come to is that only a spoiled white girl like myself would choose to leave a cushy job with benefits and time off (and a desk) to work exhausting hourly jobs for "fun". My excuse is being a member of the caucasian bourgeoisie - who knows why D followed me? Either way we now come home with aching feet and lie in front of the tv and moan. We will work our way up to socializing with the locals some more...probably.

Addendum to previous post

2009-08-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

A new girl moved into our room. She has yet to materialize, however the tramp has a pillow already.

We have been sleeping on balled up hats, scarves, and shirts. They are suprisingly hard.
...And hostel mom McScarerton put her boot - the very same that one that trampled to and fro across this town with a shocking volume of avian roadkill, salmon blood, and hosteler germs (prob the worst) - ON TOP OF MY BED.

She sat in cowgirl/lady luck pose kinda rubbing the bottom of her small booted filthy shoe in small circles while sitting (in street clothes) at the foot of my bed.

Almost had a corinary.

...And maybe she's going to be our landlord (if the USSR has any say in the matter)

Exhibit A: USSR

we boozin!

2009-08-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

Ode to shibbly joe:

I haven't been this drunk in the middle of the day since senior week.

We've been too depressed to write earlier. We've spent the last 72 hours calling every lead gained from the paper (aptly named "The Local Paper), the 3 listed craigslist ads, poorly handwritten for rent signs, and anything that the kennedy status vacation rental baronness "Mary" has to offer. All on foot in the rain on the bus (aptly named, "The Bus").

Our days of homeless toil are not softened by our early arrival to the church hostel were living in, as it is run by Scary McSkeletor (a would be 60-something vagabond house mother who tells 5 indecipherable stories at once whilst assigning us mild housekeeping duties in the sunday school room where we sleep). (I would add that she has walked in twice on D in the bathroom and woke the both of us yesterday to bring a gibberish speaking japanese american senior in (who she is having do manual labor) to just show her our room.)

Needless to say we have tried to spend little time there and have been too depressed to share our despair via blog.

But a few beers and promises of october rentals have put moderate pep in our step. Now if only we can get K to live on the wrong side of the tracks in a building that would have been the pride of the USSR...

pray for us

2009-08-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

For real. We can't find an apt. Pray.

Fresh Off the Boat!

2009-08-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

We got off the boat this morning at 7:00am, shared a cab into town with a couple just sightseeing and checked into the hostel....I mean the church.

Yup we will be living, apparently, as nuns until we find an apartment. We can not go drinking at night because we are living in Mortville and must be in by 10pm. This morning when we got in they had us wait in the children's Sunday school room but told us to make sure that we didn't play with the toys...we're not allowed!

Today we are looking for apartments and going to go see a movie to relax - since most things are closed on Sunday and we may not be able to get into the church again until 6pm!

So it appears, at least at first, that instead of being slutty here in AK we will actually be living a nun's life....really hope we find an apartment soon!

Lord guide and keep us safe in canadian waters - we've shipped out

2009-08-21T16:04:00.000-07:00

Were running low on provisions and we've been at sea approx. 1.5 minutes. Oy

santa's little helper...

2009-08-21T09:42:00.000-07:00

Today while waiting for the bus to take us to the ferry (woohoo) we saw santa's little helper I guess they deserve vacation too but you'd think they would want to go somewhere warm for vacay.

Ginger count for Seattle leg of the trip: 16

Here's D on the bus from Seattle to Bellingham to the ferry!

we not on a boat [yet]

2009-08-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

Sitting with 150 lbs of luggage (we could've brought a skinnier friend for that poundage) watching the cruise shippers stream by.

The just back from alaska cruise ship women: all in impratical shoes (but a refreshing change from the hip seattle 20something REI chic)

The men: portly

The children: blond

The 10am bus driving us north to our 'budget cruise': absent

The ride from K's uncle: priceless

difference between bay area and seattle

2009-08-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

The difference between seattle and the bay area is that in the bay area white people are ashamed of their whiteness, not the case here. Also all the cleaning people are white...new job market mexico!

we on a boat man!

2009-08-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

We on a boat man. We wit the fam man. We caint pay for nuttin but eggs that hit the scram man.

But for real: in seattle.

Bags: all safe and accounted for (see photo next post)

Seattle: plesant city. Prospective site for the great indie douche migration as A. There's few colored people. B.few poor people. C. Nobody to call their oft replicated individuality into question as everyone here is concerned with danskos, gardening, coffee, and being bugrois. D. They can rep so poor they have to take public transportation without the financial committment (free busses here).

Boat trips: 3
Seals spotted:3

Rain: none

It Begins...

2009-08-16T06:21:00.000-07:00

I am.

not talking with a burning bush (nor, thankfully, do i have a burning bush) but i am...

up at 5:30 am for the third or fourth time in a week. gracias anxiety. but i suppose it's time to do something that scares me so much my subconscious wakes me from slumber (and you know how much i like slumber) to rouse me to action.

sin wit, the plan:
0: Packing/Freaking Out

1: August 18 Leave Oakland, to Seattle

2: August 21 - 23 Seattle on Ferry to Small Town, Alaska

3: August 23 Stay in Small Town Hostel until finding a home or talking the hostel woman into letting us stay... apparently the real estate market in Small Town Alaska is "oooh... really tight" (not in the early 90's sense) according to every realtor in Small Town. How are convict vagabonds/us supposed to create hovels if remax won't hook em up?